One of my firm beliefs—in fact it’s basically cross-stitched all over the Chairman Mom office*—is that there is no such thing as a “bad mom.”
When I used to wait tables, there would be days that I just didn’t have it in me. I didn’t feel like upselling apps, I didn’t want to smile, I was slow and forgetful, and I felt like I was screwing everything up.
And yet. The very act of coming to a table, getting your drinks, placing the order, getting that order to you and handling your payment was still enough work; I felt I deserved a tip. In those days you made an hourly wage of $2 waiting tables. That work—while half-ass—was worth more than $2. Maybe not 20% of your bill. But something. As a result, I still tip well on every transaction as long as I got the basic thing I wanted at some point in 24 hours.
It’s the same with motherhood. Do you know how hard it is to even get pregnant for some women? How hard and selfless carrying a baby is? How brutal and painful nursing can be? The pressure you come under basically immediately from everyone around you to be better at it all? Girl, come to the next Chairman Mom Preach in San Francisco (it free!) if you wanna hear Amanda Munday’s horror story of postpartum depression with a side of involuntary institutionalization. (!)
Even the “worst” mom is a great mom. (Yes, I know there are extremes where some moms are truly abusive and damaging. But that’s not 88% of moms and 88% of women say they witness mom-shaming or have been mom-shamed on social media.)
And yet, this week those thoughts keep creeping in…“Am I a bad mom??” Check out my question today to get the details.
* This is not actually cross stitched anywhere in our office, but maybe Shannon Downey could get on that?
Today’s new questions on Chairman Mom:
- Pink hair in your forties — yay or nay?
- I’m a shy introvert. How do I be a better advocate?
- How do I deal with a child with performance anxiety who constantly performs?