Editor’s Note: Sarah and I (Lily) have been doing most of the talking during this pandemic, but we want to hear from YOU! If you have something to say about how you’re feeling in these strange, terrifying, and surreal times we’re living in and want to write a newsletter intro about it, send an email over to me at lily@chairmanmom.com.

Our intro today comes from Mags, who you probably know on the internet as Mags the Rebel Mom. She’s hosting an event on Saturday at 9:30pm EST/6:30pm PST called “Burn Mom Guilt to the Ground,” and you should register to join us!

Hello fellow Chairman Mom members! 

I’m Mags the Rebel Mom, and I help womxn shift out of mom guilt and into a #momlife filled with love, joy, pleasure, romance, ease, and abundance. My life-shifting digital courses, badass free content, live power boost energy sessions, and one-on-one client offerings help thousands of womxn each year shift from frenzied to FREE, even as a mom. Especially as a mom. 

MOM GUILT IS:

REAL: And it affects 90% of us. That means nine out of 10 of us feel guilty about one of the things we do every day all day…ugh. The thoughts of guilt, unworthiness, and shame enter (almost non-stop sometimes), and so often we just accept them as the truth. For the first year of motherhood, I battled this daily. I found that when I was feeling guilty, my brain would look for confirmation of me “being a bad mom” and I started to believe it, creating more ammo for the future. Thanks, brain! 

AFFECTING OUR OVERALL HAPPINESS: The best-feeling emotions (love, joy, appreciation) stand no chance of existing alongside the not-so-good feelings of guilt, shame, and unworthiness. For me, I am the happiest mom when I get PLENTY of time to myself for leisure, self-care, steamy romance, and whatever the f*ck I want. When we allow mom guilt to arise for taking time off from parenting, we can’t enjoy our time off to the fullest extent, and thus return back to #momlife anything but completely rejuvenated. Make your time off work for you—and that (for sure!) includes not allowing mom guilt to crash your time off party. 

A PRODUCT OF OUR PATRIARCHAL CONDITIONING: 

“How to Be a Good Mom”

Written by THE PATRIARCHY: 

  1. Give everything of yourself and expect nothing in return. 
  2. Put everyone else’s needs first (and never mention your wants or needs).
  3. Do the majority (we’d prefer ALL) of the household duties.
  4. Be solely responsible for all child development strategy and decisions.
  5. Come running anytime anyone needs anything and be available to help everyone 24 hours a day every day for the rest of your life at any moment.
  6. Be the gatekeeper of all family info and ready to answer any question at any time.
  7. Be small. Be quiet. Serve the family without complaining. 

And if you don’t do all of these you are obviously a bad mom and should feel terrible. 

It’s no wonder we all (or most) feel like we’re not measuring up, but if we can see it for what it is (total BS from patriarchal conditioning) then we can start to peel away the painful thoughts and beliefs and shift into a better-feeling place. 

NOT NECESSARY: There is no reason to feel mom guilt, period. It’s time to unwind mom guilt from your brain, release it from your body and your energy, and shift into a #momlife that actually feels GOOD. 

If you want less mom guilt in your life (or how about none?), join us this Saturday for my Mother’s Day Eve Party with Chairman Mom. It’s FREE and the topic is “Burn Mom Guilt to the Ground”. I’ll be leading a mom guilt workshop, a live power boost, a round (or several!) of terrible drawings, AND a chill later night after-party! 

If you want to work with me directly, DM me on Instagram at @happymillennialmags, and if you want to just gobble up my (amazing!) free content, come be my PAL on IG!

You are so strong. You are so brilliant. You are worthy of feeling REALLY fucking good. (Even as a mom. Especially as a mom.)

We got this.

Today’s new questions on Chairman Mom:

* * * *