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The kids and I are leaving San Francisco as my primary home sometime before the beginning of the next school year. This is good for everyone in our family. Even our cats are excited about it.
But still, we are going to make it the longest of loooooooonnnnnnngggggggg goodbyes. It’s not even really a goodbye. We are keeping our house here, and I’m doing a quasi-badass hostel situation with other phenomenal women who have moved from San Francisco but still need to have regular face time here every month. That means when I need a dose of SF, I’ll likely come to my old home and some of my favorite people will be staying there. QUADRUPLE WIN.
Femily asked a really interesting question on the site today about what happens if companies require folks to go back to work full-time and whether it’ll spark a talent exodus. I’m a bit at war with myself in my own comments on the thread!
On one hand, I have had so much experience with people who say they will absolutely quit if [fill in the blank], but because of the massive friction of actually finding a new job (the whole devil-you-know-syndrome), they don’t actually end up doing it. This inertia is clearly what companies that don’t want to change will bank on. But those who stay out of sheer inertia are likely pissed. Which is good for exactly nobody.
I’m in a weird spot between the collective WTF of the last year combined with some big power waves in my own life and the newness of being mostly vaccinated and feeling like a new chapter is beginning. Add to that I am lucky enough to edit and produce all of our phenomenal courses, so I get this rush of wisdom and empowerment before any of you!
After editing the Kim and Trier course of Radical Equality and next generation leadership, I am throwing purple flags and examining past bullying and feel newly equipped to advocate for myself in a way that’s maybe not quite so flamethrower as my previous approach.
One of my favorite compliments I ever got on my kids: “Eli just exudes beauty, and Evie just exudes power.”
Evie has always been like a mighty T-Rex wrapped in the tiny adorable candy coating of something anime. I’ve never known anyone so original, so totally herself, so empathetic, and so “soft” but also so incredibly tough. She defies normal adjectives. I don’t even think these really capture her.
I’ve never understood people who so thoroughly only live for their kids that they use a picture of their kids instead of themselves for their social media profile. And yet, if I never did anything else of note for the world, I think giving birth to (Eli and) Evie is enough. They change every space they enter, and they largely do it together.
For the last week or so, I’ve written an email to my parents every day that I haven’t sent. It’s not a choice. I have to write them, to get the words out of my body. But sending them right now will make things worse. It’s a strange limbo.
I want to do something with this.
An art project? Burn them?
I keep talking about this and people have started sharing with me the most AMAZING letters and emails they’ve written to their parents but they’ve never sent.
My worry is that leaning into this as a thing would shame and attack moms who aren’t perfect but are doing their best. I am not down for that. But I wonder if all of us sharing this could lead somewhere healing, not nasty.
Newsletter editor Lily here.
If you’re reading this on the day it’s sent, I’m currently in the midst of my little apartment move that I’ve teased for the past couple of weeks. It’s happening. At least, I hope it’s happening; I’m writing this newsletter in the morning right before the chaos kicks off and the movers get here. So who knows what I’ll send y’all next week?
To be completely honest, it hasn’t fully sunken in yet that I’m moving. I have many feelings on the apartment I’m leaving. On the one hand, my roommate Kaitlyn and I didn’t have many options when we were looking in the winter of 2019, so we sort of got stuck with it, in a way. That’s just how the New York City housing market is. And as many long-time readers will recall, we had an absolutely botched move-in—and continued to have issues with our landlord and management for the next two years. Then there’s the fact that there’s been scaffolding over both of our skylights, two of our three main sources of light, for the past six months. Yes, some would say this apartment is bleak.
Was it after there was no change in gun laws at Sandy Hook? Was that the moment?
When exactly did it become totally OK in America to target hate and “culture wars” on kids?
Whether it’s kids in cages at the border, kids not being protected at school (if they can even go to school…), kids being the subject of racist tirades from teachers on Zoom, or CHILDREN being the focus of the Right’s campaign against transgender rights, children being the specific target of hate is everywhere right now.
Something strange happened yesterday that I’ve never seen in our short five month existence as a digital course company. A full week after our Radical Equality course began, we suddenly had three sign ups!
One reason that has never happened is that we typically close registration and move to a waitlist, and this time we forgot. (Oops.) But that wasn’t the only reason, because in each case, people emailed me to ask if they could still join, and I don’t usually get that many emails a week. One was a referral from a friend in the course. In just one week, this woman found the course so valuable, she was bringing in friends!
I am writing this from an airport lounge today. How 2019 is that?
This was not a plan, and I feel like a feral animal who has been put back into civilization. TSA Pre-Check? Don’t I have that? Oh, I can’t just bring a big glug of water on the flight?
Yesterday we were driving our kids back from Palm Springs to San Francisco with the intention of driving back down to Palm Springs today for a week of focused work. Our extremely new car that had no business breaking down (!!!) made it as far as Monrovia.
Newsletter editor Lily here.
Welp, I found it: A new late-pandemic obsession. I never got into the sourdough trend a year ago nor learned a new instrument. I’ve largely stuck to the interests I already have for the most part. But last week I wanted something new to watch during my work lunch break and randomly clicked on Netflix’s Formula 1: Drive to Survive, a show all about the world of Formula 1 racing. I can’t believe I’m saying it, but I’m hooked.
If I really think about it, this probably shouldn’t come as a surprise. Despite the fact that it’s largely a dangerous and male-dominated d*ck measuring contest filled with oodles of money, I do love any sport that’s fast-paced, at least a tad dangerous, and just sort of ridiculous if you think about it in a meta way. I’m now through two of the three available seasons, and I’ve even begun following the race updates online. The first Grand Prix of the 2021 season starts this weekend, so it looks like that’s what I’ll be keeping track of as I pack up my apartment and deal with the usual issues that come with a move. (So far, we’ve run into a little trouble and it’s nice to unwind!)