Page 3 of 18
Do you guys have a whole cohort of people who have similar names to you, whose email you constantly get? There’s a Nextdoor Group in another state I can’t seem to get unsubscribed from. Then there’s poor Grace from Texas, whose mom must have a similar name because I get all of her progress reports and report cards from school. I don’t read them, by the way. Because I feel like somewhere poor Grace would be mortified if the other Sarah Lacy or Stacey Lucky or whatever her name is did.
Sometimes I go to the effort to unsubscribe. Sometimes sites won’t let me, and sometimes I just have so much spam that comes in my inbox everyday, I just passively delete this kind of thing along with it.
We have had three days of questions containing the word “anxiety.”
I think I know how we are all feeling right now. And I can majorly relate. I feel so much pressure to get all my year end business goals completed by the end of the month and that effectively comes early for me because I’m taking my kids to see their grandparents the week before Christmas. (Yay! Divorce schedules!)
I feel like I am stalking the hallways of Silicon Valley, yelling, “Still there???? Can I talk to you about Chairman Mom????? Helllllo????????”
It is not your imagination. I learn everything about family dynamics from being at hotel pools.
Earlier this year, I wrote a newsletter about a scene I witnessed between a dad and his sons playing a gigantic Connect Four by a hotel pool. It confirmed every instinct I’ve ever had in wanting to go live on a Wonder Woman island. The obsession with winning at all cost being modeled for the kids, the fragile male ego when a child beat the adult at the game. All of it the cliche of watching fragile masculinity being passed from father to son, seeing what happens when when that fragile male ego takes over the White House, and good lord, the species is doomed isn’t it?
Yesterday, Lily asked my opinion on this article on our Slack channel: “The Controversy Over Parents Who Eat Lunch With Their Children at School.” The fact that my response was, “I didn’t know that was an option!” and Paul’s response to that was “IT ISN’T” probably says a lot about the dynamic in our home…
The article is about parents who are so involved in school they show up to have lunch with their kids everyday. Let me say in advance: I DO NOT DO THIS. I am not going to do this. I agree that kids need their space at school. I purposely picked a school that doesn’t have any required volunteering and generally likes parents to stay at home. I believe it’s healthier for the kids, and in case you didn’t notice, I also have a pretty demanding job.
“Mama…remember that beautiful lady on the blue book you were reading while we were in Palm Springs?” Eli asked me the other day in a Lyft on the way home from therapy.
(Let’s pause for a moment to let it sink in just how California my life has become…)
“Michelle Obama?” I said.
“I guess,” Eli said. “Did Donald Trump ever bully her?”
“Yes, Donald Trump and a whole lot of other people bullied her.”
“What’d they do?”
“Well, she writes about it in her book. They questioned whether she was a woman, whether her husband was born in our country, they said a lot of things that were really just code for being racist. Men in our government even made fun of her butt.”
Hey guys. Happy Friday! We’ve almost made it to December!
What a year so far. I can’t believe Chairman Mom only launched in April. This time last year we had just a newsletter and Paul and I were the only two full-time employees at the company. I have fallen in love with so many hilarious and brilliant and compassionate women I’ve met through Chairman Mom. It feels like we’ve been part of this thing together for way longer than six or seven months.
There is also a lot that has happened to me personally this year. It’s been rough in a few ways, not the least of which was changes in custody. On the other hand, I am ever so so so slowly making progress on getting back in shape. In January, I couldn’t run for more than a minute straight. Now running for an hour is no big thing.
Yesterday, I had two conversations that had a big impact on me. The first was an exchange from a member who was writing to cancel because she was undergoing some major life transitions and couldn’t afford the membership anymore. It sounded like she was entering a time when she needs an army of women who have her back more than ever. So we comped her membership instead of canceling her.
Later, I saw this Tweet by my friend Andrea, who answered a few questions on the site yesterday:
I started to well up. First off, if white, cisgender women like me have a hard time finding safe places online, I can’t imagine what trans moms go through. If we can do anything to make that better, we have done something I’ll always be proud of.
I keep getting asked why I haven’t written anything about the recent Facebook scandals, especially as it relates to tech’s most influential and until-recently admired female leader, Sheryl Sandberg.
Well, one reason is the rest of the world is busy with their own hot take and I’m not sure we need one more. Another reason is that, frankly, Pando wrote about a lot of these issues years ago. Nearly two years ago, I wrote about the growing concern among women in Silicon Valley that she had abandoned her “let’s link arms!” feminist rallying cry in the wake of the Trump win.
Enough with the clever names of days to get you to spend money the week after Thanksgiving. I live in San Francisco with two kids, no child support, and a startup salary. You are harassing an empty cup right now.
But for those of you playing along, today is Giving Tuesday. Rather than asking you for anything, I wanted to thank those of you who donated to the fundraiser I set up to help rebuild Pulga and provide relief to the surrounding area victimized by the Camp Fire. While the fire miraculously jumped over parts of Pulga, Betsy Ann lost more than a dozen structures and had some damage done to the town’s infrastructure.
Hello, Mama Bears!
If you are like me, you were THROWN back into work already hurtling at about 180 miles an hour this morning after the crazy/idyllic Thanksgiving family fest. I woke up at 4am, packed some groggy kids in pajamas into a rental car, flew back from Palm Springs (WOO HOO! ALASKA FOR AN ON TIME DEPARTURE!), grabbed them McDonald’s breakfast on the way home from the airport, brushed Evie’s hair (which hadn’t happened in about a week…) and then Paul got them into uniforms and to school (very late) while I raced to a 10am meeting.