The Mama Bear by Chairman Mom

Newsletter editor Lily here.

We’re officially in the thick of the holiday season, and you know what that means: A little break for everybody!

To give you the quick rundown of what’s happening over at CM this week and next week: You’ll receive a few Daily Dose emails from us on both weeks, but we’ll be taking off around the time of the two major holidays, i.e. Christmas and New Year’s.

As you all know from last Friday’s newsletter, Sarah is on her solo vacay this week, and I’ll be following behind her shortly thereafter! Read more...

Hey everyone. You will not hear from me over the next week. I am taking my first vacation in at least 11 years. Just me, no kids, no pets, no Paul, no phalanx of girlfriends, no family. I’m taking a week to recover, frankly. It’s been an intense year of so many great things, a lot of challenging things, but mostly a lot of rapid transitions. 

It is so, so, so, so hard for me not to work this coming week and not to feel guilty about taking this time for myself. I am stunned just observing how deep our conditioning is as parents and women not to take care of ourselves! Not to put ourselves first for a change.  Read more...

I talk about the “Burnout Opt Out” course a lot because it had one of the most profound impacts on me this past year. 

One thing that Nataly talked about is editing the story your brain gives you. Mine loves this one: “You are all alone and everything falls on your shoulders.” I’ve been working on “editing” that story. In other words, stepping back and looking at whether that’s actually true or not when I find myself thinking that. Looking at the objective facts. 

And something interesting has happened: The more I have noticed (and been grateful) for others stepping in and doing things, I’ve noticed that it’s happening more and more.  Read more...

Newsletter editor Lily here.

I don’t know what’s in the water this week, but I’ve had separate conversations with no fewer than four different friends over whether or not they want to have kids.

Maybe it’s the holiday season and its ongoing emphasis on family, but everybody’s got babies on the brain.

I’ve talked at various points in CM newsletters about my own questions over whether or not I possess a strong affinity towards having children. I actually dug up this question I asked over two years ago (!!!) about when you actually know you do or don’t want kids. Read more...

Well, now it feels like home. 

Right after I got vaccinated, our car broke down on the way back from Palm Springs to San Francisco. I had to get the girls back to San Francisco, so we hopped on our first flight in more than a year. We landed at the new Harvey Milk terminal, and it was deserted. So we wandered dreamily through it, talking about the history of Harvey Milk and San Francisco’s role in LGBTQ+ history. 

“I think it’s so amazing that you moved here even before you knew me,” Eli said.  Read more...

My kids and I have been obsessed with Encanto and its soundtrack since Thanksgiving. Eli has actually asked us not to play it at night, because she gets so excited by the music she can’t sleep. 

My favorite song is by the super strong sister Luisa who carries all the family’s burdens, seemingly effortlessly, but under the surface she’s crumbling. (SOUND FAMILIAR, EVERY WOMAN I KNOW?!) 

At the beginning of that song, she’s talking about how competent and reliable she is and adds, “And I glow ‘cause I know what my worth is.” Read more...

Newsletter editor Lily here.

Well, it’s official: I have too many goals for 2022. Too! Many!

I know myself incredibly well. I’ve been down this road often — practically every year of my life.

I set up so many hoops for myself to jump through, follow through on them for maybe a month, and then fully drop off by the end of the year.

And yet, I can’t help it. Especially this year, I’m more excited about heading into a new year than I’ve been in recent memory.

After a very rough spring, awful summer, and still pretty fragile fall, I feel like things are looking up. I love what I’m working on professionally (including ChairmanMe!). I’m excited about the creative projects I’m taking on. I have some personal life goals — like running that June marathon — that I couldn’t be more stoked about. Read more...

Newsletter editor Lily here.

I’m flying for only my second trip in the pandemic and my first time out of the country in over two years, and I’ll admit it: I’m stressed to the max right now.

I’ve always been an anxious traveler. (Yes, I’m one of those folks who arrives at the airport three hours early!)

I’m someone who wants to get to the destination, get through any other obstacles, and get back. This trip in particular is under four days; I haven’t even left the States yet, and I’m already freaking out about something going wrong with my COVID-19 test trying to get back into the country. Read more...

You versus the universe or you versus you and the universe? 

I am currently listening to Will Smith’s autobiography. I am not a huge Will Smith fan, but Adimika told me I had to, and so I am. 

There are a few sections where my “not being a huge Will Smith fan” is confirmed. Like his thin defense of why he put himself above his kids or his then-wife in a list of priorities. And his “women respond to warriors” nonsense that verges on a defense of toxic masculinity at worst and tired gender binaries at best.  Read more...

One of the most profoundly impactful courses we taught last year was also one of the shortest and least expensive: The Burnout Opt-Out. 

The most profound change for me was around “acceptance.” Nataly Kogan, who teaches the course, believes that “challenge” is universal but “struggle” is optional. What is “struggle” then? She defines it as the valley between something sh*tty happening and how long it takes us to accept and take action against that thing. That’s where acceptance comes in.  Read more...